Impostor Syndrome

Ridiculous as it may seem, but I believe I had a somewhat traumatic experience with assessments back in high school since I can mostly remember it as a bad experience. I’ve always hated the summative assessments back then because its like a reminder of how dumb I actually am when in fact that’s not the purpose of assessments at all. Even the supposed formative assessments were not really that effective, in my opinion, since I now have an understanding of what a good assessment is supposed to be. I wish I got enrolled in a school with better curriculums and learning guides instead so I could have at least enjoyed the learning process even if I didn’t excel in any of my subjects. I would not have been too insecure of my knowledge and skills if my teachers then conducted better assessments that can improve our learning rather than shame us for getting low grades. Until now I still carry that sense of uncertainty with my capabilities because of those assessments that didn’t really do me good or contributed to the advancement of my knowledge.

Grades were taken very seriously back then and if you get low grades, you can expect other students, teachers, or even your own parents to look down on you. It was absurd and totally unnecessary for young kids and teenagers to feel so much pressure in school. School is not a pressure cooker, learning is not supposed to be hard nor distressing. If only all teachers are equipped with the right knowledge on how to effectively teach, guide, and conduct assessments, the learning environment for each student would be so much better.

With the knowledge I gained from this course, I would definitely bear all of what I have learned in heart and mind as I want my future students to experience holistic learning in my classes. I don’t want to commit the same mistakes that my teachers before have unintentionally done; I want to do my best in this career and vocation to make my students love learning. I want them to love learning or take interest in what I teach in hopes that someday they will impart the knowledge I have passed down to them. I aspire to be the teacher that will not make their school life difficult but rather make it bearable and enjoyable so they can maximize their abilities and potentials in my classes.

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